Monday, September 26, 2011

It's true.

I saw this quote on my sister's wall and wanted to share it. It is an empowering message to all of us. May we echo this declaration in our actions each day.

"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up untiI have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go until He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."

- B. Moorehead

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

No What Left Behind?? Oh! No Child Left Behind!

Hold up. Before you march off red in the face with steam coming out both ears about the issue, let's take another look at the infamous No Child Left Behind Act.

I've heard all the huff and puff - all the critics - from parents to teachers to administrators to the students, to people who don't have any interaction with the school system at all! But after hashing things out in my Tests and Measurement class, I have a slightly different perspective on NCLB, but don't judge me yet! Keep reading!

So here are the main goals of NCLB (as per my Tests and Measurement textbook - citation will follow):

1. "High levels of efficiency" in math, english and science (aiming towards 100% efficiency). This includes students with special needs and students who aren't necessarily proficient in English.
2. All students will be taught by "highly qualified" teachers by 2005-2006. 
3. All students not currently proficient in English will become so.
4. All students will graduate from high school.
5. All students will be provided with a safe environment for learning.

Ok. So we look at these and there are possible a few things that come to mind. Most likely you fall into one of two camps - you can see the value, or you don't buy into it at all. To get a little context of where I fall (more towards... the middle of the two camps), I want to explain a principle about government as I see it.

Government is (loosely) an organization to protect citizens from foreign enemies and enemies within the state. The nature of this roll of protection provides that governments are by definition guardians of the minimum. Their tendency is to draw the line of the lowest achievement/action that can be take before serious consequences will follow from the state. Catch my drift? Problem: this legislation (NCLB) is a law built to encourage greater achievement headed towards perfection. Conceptually, I understand why perfection must be the end goal - how would it look if the goal was something like "all student will be 90% proficient in math and science." Maybe we would only get 90% of the way to the moon. I'm over simplifying a little, but you get the point. In order to achieve the most, it would make sense to make "the most" our goal: perfection. Now the way the government works would dictate a punishment system for not achieving perfect goals. It is difficult to regulate perfection on a legislative level/governmental level because the system was not set up to do so. We therefore set ourselves up for failure. The problem is not then with the goals so much as it is a problem with the punishment/ramification system of NCLB. Since this post is long enough already, you are free to look it up on your own, but it's not pretty.

One more thought on not leaving children behind: No Child Left Behind was the revised version of a renewal of a 1960s Elementary and Secondary Education Act. While initiation of NCLB has in many ways proved problematic, it was the first attempt in over 30 years to improve the educational system. As a result, there has been more attention drawn to the state of our educational system in the last few years than it has had in a long time. There were schools that were improved. Did one size fit all? No. But sometimes before you know what works, you gotta know what doesn't work. That's why I feel like although NCLB has a lot of holes to fill, it has given us something to work on and towards, and it has done a lot to serve as a gateway towards educational improvement in our country.

The End.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Diversity Awareness: Helpful or Hurtful?

What I'm about to tell you is very important. Are you ready?

Don't think about elephants.

So what did you think about? My guess is that you thought about elephants. And you are probably still thinking about them :) We will think about them again later. Don't forget.

So when reflecting on this idea of racial diversity and awareness, I would venture that we would all agree on the principle and intentions behind it. The idea is to create a society that lacks racial bias; a society that removes racial stigma. I think we also all support and agree with the value of this motivation. Is it possible that in our efforts to remove racial stigmas that we have gone too far? Are we looking beyond the mark?

Here's the issue: racial bias and stigma is created by racial boundaries - the separation of races and exclusive social circles based around racial premises. So how do we break down these barriers? I would suggest that by making ourselves more aware of them and drawing attention to them in excess, we have perpetuated the problem rather than subdued it. If I tell you not to think about an elephant, what do you think of? If I tell you not to think about races, what will you think of? Do you see the parallel? I am not suggesting that principles of self-reflection on ourselves or our society is bad, but there is a gentle balance that must be maintained in order to continue forward progression and improvement. I do suggest, however, that in an effort to create a society more accepting and tolerant of different cultures and races, we have perpetuated differentiation and therefore passive hostility between races.

Another thought (stay with me :) ). A current professor of mine specializes in adolescent development  - particularly in research relating to identity formation in general including racial identity formation in particular. The idea of supporting youth in creating their identity based on racial premises seems counterproductive to this society free from racial bias we are trying to promote. It also seems to be less than productive for the adolescent as well. Without some guidance on how to process the culture they are (by society's push towards racial pride) to endorse, they have little personal choice as to the kind of culture they want to adopt in their own lives. Let me explain what I mean. If you support black pride in a youth who is black, they are expected to accept (by default) every part of that culture and defend it in their own lives. Problem: there is a part of every culture - black, white, red, brown, yellow, blue, purple, whatever! - that could not and should not be perpetuated. But without giving them the tools of knowledge, they are left on their own. We know through ridiculous amounts of research the results of poor family life, poor education, poor monetary situations, but in the name of being politically correct, we impose racial pride on them without helping them realize they can choose to be who they want to be. Help them find their own identity? We are dictating their identity!

There are beautiful things about each culture too. Can we not try to take the best from each? Must we be victims of the hand we are dealt? I would suggest that we are not. We can become what and who we want to become - regardless of what we look like or where we come from. Can't we switch our focus more towards the future rather than fixating ourselves on the past?

Just a thought.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Adolescent Development

Can I tell you how excited I am for the coming school year?? I'M SO EXCITED! I am excited to learn theories and ideas from great minds. I'm really excited to shoot them down! Mua ha ha! Just kidding. But really, I am excited for all the great things I will learn and most likely share in this venue.

In my coming Adolescent Learning and Development class we have a graduate version of the good ole book report project to do. As I was reading through the list of possible books and their summaries, I realized a major principle of adolescent development. This principle is soooo obvious to the rest of the world: adolescence is the time of developing identity. DUH! Right? From an educational psychologist perspective, that's rocket science. But the real fun comes into play when thinking about what true identity is and what influences our identity. One major component in my opinion in gender. Another resounding DUH, right? But I must point out that the world we live in (at least part of it) is trying to move toward a world without gender (They obviously didn't do their Biology homework). News flash - gender is part of our identity. To take away gender or to dilute, convolute, or pollute the associated development wreaks havoc on adolescence. English translation: adolescent development + messed up ideas on gender = BAD IDEA. Messed up growing plant = messed up grown plant. Ta da! Scary rocket science.

So here's the bottom line. Identity is what it's going to be about this semester in this class. Identity is what it's all about in adolescence, and those who can teach and inspire youth (and adults for that matter) to find true individual identity -- not in conjunction or retaliation to trends or fads of society -- have a gift to share.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Time Capsule

Yesterday I opened a time capsule I had created of my life in April 1999. Wow. I was 9 1/2 years old. My family was just about to make the first of a long consecutive train of moves. My oldest brother was about to get married. Included in the canned time capsule was my first beany baby, a lanyard (I think I collected them at the time), a beaded candy cane I had made, a plastic bead necklace (probably a gift from someone), a picture of my and one of my teachers (I think she was a music teacher, but I honestly don't remember), a "tooth fairy box" complete with a tooth I had recently lost, a favorite book (which I didn't really remember), a picture of my oldest brother on his mission, a letter from him that he wrote while on his mission, a letter from my cousin, Whitney Dewey, the printed program of my baptism, a bookmark given to me from my sister (I collected bookmarks at the time as well), but the neatest thing I opened was a letter from my Mom. She gave a great snapshot of what was going on in our family at the time and proceeded to include a small list of character traits she and my Dad appreciated in me (even at such a young age) and a hope for my future of what I would be like when I opened the time capsule. It was such a touching letter. What an incredible experience to look over the last 12 years of my life -- from 4th grade to college graduate -- and to be able to see what I have become. I am happy to say I look over those years with pride and contentment. I have no real regrets. I still have much ground to cover in the next 12, 20, even 50 years of my life in developing my personality and character into what I want it to be, but the last 12 years have been fruitful and full of good experiences, friendships, and memories. May the next 12 be as wonderful and fulfilling.

PS. I had the thought of how great it would be to make a time capsule shortly after being married to open on the 10th wedding anniversary. I can't help but think of how healthy it is to sometimes review snapshots of the past in detail. We can gain greater insight into our present and future, and we can remember principles we want to continue to live by.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Dating Rule #1

So when I first thought about creating this blog, the original "rants" I had planned or thought up were mostly about dating and/or boys. Yes, it's true. But considering that fact, I am quite impressed with how long it has taken me to post something about dating, so here goes!

Dating Rule #1:

I have been running into this issue a lot lately, so I'd like to clear things up once and for all. Here's the deal: it is impossible, unethical, and downright unkind to try to create a friendship post-break-up. It's sounds all hunky-dory on paper and in a good chick flick, but it never works out. So stop thinking your are the exception to the rule! You will avoid a much bigger mess later if you come to terms with the fact that when you break up with someone, things are never the same. So get over it! Figure out how to deal with the difference and move on! There is really no way to interact in any of the same ways you did before without emotions reattaching and heart-strings being re-pulled. Just say no!

Now does that mean you have free license to be absolutely wretched to the individual? Heavens, no! Decide in advance how you will act if and/or when you will run into them, and be emotionally prepared going into situations where you may run into them. If you are set on reestablishing a working relationship, the best band-aid is a period of distance - physical and emotional. Try not to see them for some period of time. Out of sight, out of mind. It won't work right away, but give it a little time and let it work its magic. This is really difficult when in a small town or when the person you dated is someone you work closely with. Try to make arrangements to avoid them (respectfully), but otherwise do the best with what your situation will allow. But remember. You are not the exception to this rule. Be strong. Just say no.

Subtle Ways to Know You Are Loved

So I'm kind of procrastinating my homework by writing this post, but I had to share the moment I had a few minutes ago as a reminder that I am loved and that people like to be around me! (Which is always a good thing to be reminded of BTW)

This is how you know: You start spending less time in the living room with all your roommates chatting and start spending more time behind the closed door of your bedroom to make yourself be more productive. The funny thing is that the party usually ends up in your bedroom anyways! Your roommates all tend to come in, usually at about the same time, and you end up being just as unproductive as before. Haha. But I definitely feel loved! Haha. I mean, who does homework anyways? What is this? College or something??

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Weighing People's Worth on a Scale

In a deep and surprisingly emotional conversation with a dear friend yesterday, I realized a common natural system of weighing a person's value to us (and to society in general) is by a scale system. We often take all of a person's good deeds and place them on one side of the scale. We then take all of their weaknesses and place them on the other end of the scale and we see which side comes out on top. As I realized this is how I had felt my friend had measured me, I realized how fragile our friendship was. If by some slight error in calculation, my weaknesses and frailties would outweigh my goodness. That would then run the risk of negating our history - all the time spent together, all the experiences, all the conversations - no longer valid because I was ruled to be a "bad person" not solely in situation, but in essence. What a fragile relationship is then created by such a measurement of people. Is this love? Is this Christ-like charity? I somehow can't believe it is. Somehow we must find a way to love people including their weaknesses.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Masterpiece of our Master





This is the worst part of the last week of classes. I will lose the greatest roommate in a week and a half.

Things I have learned from Esther:

  • Life is all about "things" and "bottom-lines" but you usually have to go through a lot of things before you get to the bottom line.
  • Find your passions in life and go for it.
  • You can achieve anything you truly desire.
  • Go to bed early Saturday night if you want to be normal on Sundays.
  • Waking up to music always makes the experience greater. Especially if it's a musical (major points for the Sound of Music).
  • Enjoy the small things in life: overtures, musicals, smiles, losing teeth, flowers in your hair, blogging, all-nighters, birthdays, balloons, water shoes, dances, southern accents, free netflix, family, art, England, chocolate moments in the library, etc. You get the idea. :)
  • Stay true to your goals and ambitions in life. 
  • Serve a mission :)
  • Do the little things for people they don't ask for - make them food, write them notes - show people that you care.
  • Work hard, party hard!
  • When in doubt, hug it out. 
Here's the bottom line: I love Esther Harsh! 

Monday, April 18, 2011

A Transitional Weekend

Moving on is always good, but it's not ever easy.

Well, at least that's how it is for me. This weekend was a big one. I felt pretty deeply the "moving on" momentum compound in several aspects of my life. Between the orchestra concert, and the Fading Point concert, I realized I will probably never be so involved with music in my life. At the dance I realized all the friends I will be leaving and that will be leaving me. Institute graduation - much more emotional than expected. I almost tripped down the stairs coming off the stand since I couldn't see. And a really great chat with a dear friend. It's as if I am witnessing the last few scenes before my death. Dramatic, I know, but it has felt a small bit like that. I have lived, loved and served here, and I realized this weekend how hard it really will be to let it go. "I will remember you. Will you remember me?"

Moving on is always good, but never easy for me.

Friday, April 15, 2011

A New Outlook on Life

So I'm sitting impatiently in Orchestra rehearsal. I had arrived late due more to negligence than a good cause. I only have a few notes and parts in the piece we are rehearsing and I wait bored and impatient as the student conductor adjusts a part in another section. My head now resting on my arm and my tuba, I surrender to the exhaustion and feelings of incompetence that have shadowed my existence as of late. Tick. Tick. Tick. The sound of my ticking watch brings back memories of years and watches gone by. My thoughts turn to the blessing of each moment and each day I am granted on this earth. The gift of life is enough for endless gratitude and praise, but to realize the opportunities given through each moment leaves me eternally indebted. No longer is the waiting a burden, but a blessing from on high - an opportunity for growth and progression - a lovely memory that will live on in my mind for years and years to come. How tender the mercies of God found in each day! Each moment!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

True Service Gives Without a Price

If I were a poet, this would be a line in one of my poems tonight.

Today I returned home from a long day and found a lone red tulip placed on my bed. The tip was wrapped in plastic wrap and had a cute golden ribbon tied and curled. Random, right? The secret is, I LOVE flowers. I lived every girl's dream and worked in a flower shop for two summers and I have great appreciation for these delicate creations. How could they know? Who is "they" anyways? The point is, they did a great service which they didn't have to do and did with no thought or expectation of reward or gratitude. True service seeks no reward or praise.

Tonight after performing in a concert, I found that all of the members of our group had conveniently disappeared leaving myself and one other member to clean up and move out the sound equipment including large, bulky, and overweight speakers and sub-woofers. Fun. As I wrapped up cords I contemplated the decision I had before me. "I probably have the most stuff to do tonight out of all of these people. I don't deserve to be here. I probably help the most with set up and take down." Trying to ebb frustration and bitterness, I finished helping put things away. As I left, the other member graciously thanked me for helping put things away. Ouch. That was a little humbling. The power of gratitude!

On my walk home I enjoyed a serene moment gazing at the stars. What an incredible display of eternal perspective. Somehow the stars always put me back on track. How dare I claim to be a serving person if I hold my service against others. Service seeks no praise or retribution. Service seeks not but to love. Who am I to feel like I deserve something for my service especially when considering how much debt I am in to the Savior who performed a service I could literally not do for myself. He made Eternal Life and Immortality a possibility! And I moan because I had to move a few speakers and wind a few cords.

May I be more transparent in my service for the light of love and the light of the Savior to shine through me. May I remember the tulips He gives.