Dating Rule #1

So when I first thought about creating this blog, the original "rants" I had planned or thought up were mostly about dating and/or boys. Yes, it's true. But considering that fact, I am quite impressed with how long it has taken me to post something about dating, so here goes!

Dating Rule #1:

I have been running into this issue a lot lately, so I'd like to clear things up once and for all. Here's the deal: it is impossible, unethical, and downright unkind to try to create a friendship post-break-up. It's sounds all hunky-dory on paper and in a good chick flick, but it never works out. So stop thinking your are the exception to the rule! You will avoid a much bigger mess later if you come to terms with the fact that when you break up with someone, things are never the same. So get over it! Figure out how to deal with the difference and move on! There is really no way to interact in any of the same ways you did before without emotions reattaching and heart-strings being re-pulled. Just say no!

Now does that mean you have free license to be absolutely wretched to the individual? Heavens, no! Decide in advance how you will act if and/or when you will run into them, and be emotionally prepared going into situations where you may run into them. If you are set on reestablishing a working relationship, the best band-aid is a period of distance - physical and emotional. Try not to see them for some period of time. Out of sight, out of mind. It won't work right away, but give it a little time and let it work its magic. This is really difficult when in a small town or when the person you dated is someone you work closely with. Try to make arrangements to avoid them (respectfully), but otherwise do the best with what your situation will allow. But remember. You are not the exception to this rule. Be strong. Just say no.

Subtle Ways to Know You Are Loved

So I'm kind of procrastinating my homework by writing this post, but I had to share the moment I had a few minutes ago as a reminder that I am loved and that people like to be around me! (Which is always a good thing to be reminded of BTW)

This is how you know: You start spending less time in the living room with all your roommates chatting and start spending more time behind the closed door of your bedroom to make yourself be more productive. The funny thing is that the party usually ends up in your bedroom anyways! Your roommates all tend to come in, usually at about the same time, and you end up being just as unproductive as before. Haha. But I definitely feel loved! Haha. I mean, who does homework anyways? What is this? College or something??

Weighing People's Worth on a Scale

In a deep and surprisingly emotional conversation with a dear friend yesterday, I realized a common natural system of weighing a person's value to us (and to society in general) is by a scale system. We often take all of a person's good deeds and place them on one side of the scale. We then take all of their weaknesses and place them on the other end of the scale and we see which side comes out on top. As I realized this is how I had felt my friend had measured me, I realized how fragile our friendship was. If by some slight error in calculation, my weaknesses and frailties would outweigh my goodness. That would then run the risk of negating our history - all the time spent together, all the experiences, all the conversations - no longer valid because I was ruled to be a "bad person" not solely in situation, but in essence. What a fragile relationship is then created by such a measurement of people. Is this love? Is this Christ-like charity? I somehow can't believe it is. Somehow we must find a way to love people including their weaknesses.